


Shoot First, Fall in Love Later

by how_about_no



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternative Universe- Spies, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Just all of them are spies, M/M, Spy Harry, Spy Liam, Spy Louis, Spy Niall, Spy Zayn, bad ass Harry, he gets better tho, louis is kind of a dick at the beginning, zayn is french
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4297473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/how_about_no/pseuds/how_about_no
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m gunna go wash this blood off me.” Harry declares before getting up and heading into the en-suite.<br/>“Does he scare any of you?” Niall asks with a faux shiver.<br/>“Adorable yet deadly,” Zayn laments before smiling at Niall, “J'adore ça.”<br/>Niall snorts and Louis really wishes he knew French. </p><p>Or</p><p>The one where Louis is a dick with feelings, Harry is sweet but secretly a bad ass, Niall loves everything to a point, Liam is a computer nerd, and Zayn speaks french when he's emotional.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is the Beginning of the End

_Breathe in. Breathe out._

_3_

 

_Breathe in. Breathe out._

_2_

_Breathe in. Breathe—_

“ _Shit,”_ His target crosses the window early and Louis only just manages to pull the trigger in time. He’s lucky he has as much practise as he does, as someone with less would have screwed up the shot in the panic of their target being irregular. Louis has dealt with irregular targets before. This one is no different.

“Niall?” He says into the microphone on his neck, moving away from the window and disassembling his rifle absently.

“Use my code name.” Niall demands on the other side and Louis can hear the cheeky smile in his voice. Louis sighs. He hates their code names.

“Alright, _Night Cobra.”_ Ugh, “The fucker is dead.”

“I think you mean the target is neutralised, _Navy Boy.”_ And that right there is why he hates the code names. Ever since Niall found out Louis went through a ‘nautical phase’ when he was 19 (wearing striped shirts, anchors everywhere, he even got a rope tattoo), he has insisted on using that damn code name.

“Whatever. Where’s the van?” He puts the disassembled gun into its case and clicks it closed, looking around the room in which he decided to shoot from. The couple that live here are on holiday at the moment, a young couple in their 30’s maybe. They seem nice enough but have terrible taste in décor. Louis wrinkles his nose at the Arabic rug on the floor next to a huge metal elephant. Clearly they think they’re ‘cultured’. It’s a nice enough apartment and this couple just ruined it with all the showy off-y ‘look at me, I visited other countries’ crap.

“Can’t you just nick a car?” Niall whines, “The traffic is awful down there.”

“I have broken into someone’s home, shot someone in the head, and I have not got the appropriate safety equipment with me for this gun,” He pauses and goes to head out the door, “I limit myself to three laws broken a day, _Night Cobra,_ so no nicking cars today.”

“You’re such a little bitch,” Niall sighs, “On my way. Hang tight, _Navy Boy.”_ Louis groans and shuts the door behind him, using this weird gadget he got from Syco to lock the door again. It’ll be like no one was ever there.

                                                                                                   *

“Lou-Bear! Looking radiant as always.” Niall tells him when he climbs into the van.

“What happened to the code names?” Louis asks with a raised eyebrow. Niall shrugs and puts a handful of chips into his mouth, chewing loudly. Wait, where did he get-? “Niall! You got McDonalds while we were on a mission?”

“Yes?” Niall replies, looking a little scared.

“And you didn’t get me any?” Louis shakes his head and tuts, “If you’re going to be unprofessional you could at least make sure it benefits the both of us.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Niall smiles at him, “But for now you can have some of mine.”

“You’re an angel,” Louis tells him, taking a few chips and holding them in one hand, feeding himself with the other.

“That’s one more mission accomplished towards the record.” Niall says, happily munching on more chips.

“Don’t remind me about that. It just makes me think of the current record holder.” Louis hates the guy. He’s smug, clumsy, unskilled and unappreciative of the hard work that everyone else goes through when he just breezes along without a care in the world. They had been partners for a month before Louis nearly shot the guy’s brains out because he was being such a smarmy dick. He had only been with Syco, well the spy business altogether, for that long at that point, so Louis really should cut him some slack. He would if that kid didn’t get _everything_ Louis wanted.

He gets all the best cases, he gets all the most interesting targets, and he gets the coolest gadgets because of his ‘achievements’. The boy is just all round aggravating.

“Don’t get lost in your hate for Harry now, will ya?” Niall raises his eyebrows knowingly, glancing at Louis before looking back at the road, “We’ll be back in 20.”

“Not nearly long enough for me to list all of the things I hate about that brat.” Louis sighs, leaning his head against the window and trying to get his heart to stop beating so fast.

*

The Syco offices are extremely private and clean cut. You don’t have friends, you don’t know the names of your fellow colleagues, and you certainly don’t see them outside of work. Louis isn’t even his real name, but it feels like it is as he has been going by is for so long. He doesn’t have any friends outside of work, so there’s not need to use his birth name. His family thinks he works for a record label and that he is just behind the scenes in producing songs and shit. He doesn’t get to see them very often so his birth name is practically dead.

Louis doesn’t know Niall’s real name.

He and Niall are friends, sure. They sometimes go out for drinks after missions that take a lot out of them. They just sit and sip at their beers while appreciating the company of someone who gets it. The job can take its toll on you if you go at it alone. Louis is glad he has Niall to ease it. He keeps him out of his own head with his bad jokes and constant bubbliness. When Louis is feeling the effect of all his years in the business, Niall is there to remind him that it isn’t all death and secrets.

As they stroll through the offices where everyone is silent and typing on their computers with fierce concentration, Louis tries to think about why they may have been called to Cowell’s office. They had both received a text on their ‘Spy-Phones’ as Niall likes to call them, telling them to go to his office immediately when they got back.

Louis had only ever met the man twice, once when he was hired and again when he got promoted to field agent 3 years ago. Niall knocked on the office door when they got there and a shout came from inside.

“Come in!”

They both walk in and Louis takes in that the room has been redecorated. The walls are white instead of the off grey they once were, the carpets are also white which is probably a bad idea considering the business, and the wall leading to outside is made of glass. Louis thinks about how satisfying it would be to kick someone into that window and watch them plummet to the ground. He may be a bit of a sociopath.

Another thing he notices is that there are already two people sat in two of the chairs in front of Cowell’s large metal desk.

Fucking _Harry_ just had to be one of them, didn’t he? Louis has no qualms about his partner, Liam, who is sat in the chair to Harry’s left, but the fact that he is associated with Harry drops Louis’ opinion of him. He makes eye contact with Harry and glares with as much venom as he can muster considering the adrenaline has drained from him since he killed his target. Harry glares right back and straightens in his chair as if to try and seem threatening. Not going to work, Louis huffs. He closes the door behind himself and Niall and tries to go for the chair on the end so he doesn’t have to sit next to Harry. Niall, the fucker, gets there first. He’s tempted to flip him the bird but then remembers where they are and quickly sits down next to Harry and tries to seem professional. He feels Harry’s gaze leave him and fall back on Cowell who is sat in his chair, silently watching them.

“I bet you’re wondering why I gathered you all here today,” Cowell starts and Louis only just holds in a snort, “And I’ll explain everything once we have established a few things,” He stands up from his chair, moving around the desk to lean on it and scrutinise them all. Louis doesn’t think he’s the only one to lean back. Cowell is a scary dude. “Nothing said in this room, leaves this room. I think you can guess what will happen to you if anything does,” Louis swallows, “I expect you to be professionals about this no matter what your personal relationships may be,” Louis’ gaze flicks to Harry and he finds Harry already looking back at him. He quickly looks back at Cowell who continues, “I’m trusting you with this because you’re some of my best men and I believe you can get the job done. So don’t disappoint me.” He picks up a globe shaped paper weight and starts tossing in between his hands, “Understood?”

“Yes sir.” They all say in a slightly threatened murmur. Louis isn’t scared of anything, but Cowell may be the only exception to that. He has made a large number of people disappear, and Louis would list them but he might be shot for even thinking of their names. Then again, they aren’t their real names.

“Good,” He puts the paperweight down and goes back to his seat. Louis feels like he is leaving these dramatic pauses for effect and would like to say it isn’t working but it completely is because Louis feels like he’s about to die from the suspense. Finally Cowell speaks up again, “A company based in France is trying to get a hold of some nuclear weapons and usually we would not consider this a threat but they are getting too close for us to ignore it much longer. We need you to get to the core of this and stop them,” Louis is not going to lie, this sounds _cool._ “You boys are going to be working as a team for this,” _And_ not so cool anymore. Louis cannot and will not work with _Harry._ “I expect you do get it done within a month,” He pulls out some files from a drawer and slides them across the desk, indicating for each of them to take one, “These are your identities and I expect you to fully commit to them. There are passports and plane tickets to France in there. You’re going to meet one of our contacts and he will help you take down this operation,” Louis flicks through the file and scans the information about this business. Apparently it is run by a man who calls himself the DJ and it is under the façade of being a radio station. How people haven’t found it odd that a radio station has bases all over the world is beyond Louis, but he knows not to underestimate humanity’s stupidity. Louis looks back up at him and sees Cowell lean back in his chair, “Your flights leave tomorrow at 6am from Heathrow airport and you’re going under the pretence of a ‘lads’ holiday,” He uses quotation marks and rolls his eyes, “A month, boys. Don’t disappoint me.” With that he waves them off and they all get up to leave.

As soon as they’re out Louis turns the Niall excitedly.

“Niall, we’ve got our first real mission!”

“I know! This is gunna be wicked, mate.” He holds up his hand for a high five but Louis is distracted by the comment Harry throws their way.

“It isn’t actually a lads’ holiday, you know that, right? Take it seriously.” Louis gives him an unimpressed look and clucks his tongue.

“Live a little, Harold. We’re allowed to take joy out of our work.” Harry frowns at him.

“Yeah, Harold.” Niall adds and Louis sighs. Oh Niall. Harry’s gaze flicks to him like he forgot Niall was there and he shrugs before walking away, Liam following after shooting them both an apologetic smile. Louis feels like saying ‘Yeah, that’s right, you walk away’ but contains it because he isn’t that immature. He isn’t. He turns back to Niall instead.

“Here’s to our not-lads holiday.” Louis holds up his hand as if he’s holding a glass.

“Here here!” Niall clinks his imaginary glass to Louis’ and laughs.

Harry being on the same mission as him is a big drawback to all this but Louis will not let him ruin it. So he make his own personal mission in that moment to annoy the fuck out of Harry this whole trip.

*

They all meet at the airport 4am the next day. Louis feels like death but is half way through the coffee he picked up on the way there so is close to feeling himself again. He stayed up late last night reading through the file, learning every detail of the business they’ll be infiltrating. He only skimmed his own identity because all he really needs to know is the name and date of birth, the rest is just semantics.

Niall and Liam are already at the meeting point outside of WHSmith when he arrives and he smiles at them while lazily dragging his suitcase behind him and trying to straighten the strap of his backpack on shoulder without using the hand holding his coffee. He ends up just weirdly shrugging.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Niall greets him with a smile.

“Morning, Nialler,” He replies, then nods at Liam, “Alright, mate?”

“I feel like I’m going to pass out, to be honest. Stayed up late reading the file.” Liam tells him with a self-deprecating smile.

“Me too,” He holds up the coffee cup, “Hence the fuel.”

Both Niall and Liam have black suitcases much like Louis’, them all having been provided them when they joined Syco because of the international nature of their missions. Niall has opted for tracky bottoms and a vest top with the US flag on it, and Liam has chosen similar with a grey T-shirt but jeans instead. Louis is wearing his favourite tracky bottoms with a white T-shirt and beanie because they have been his usual travelling clothes since he was a teenager. He’s about to say something to make conversation when Liam points off behind them.

“Harry’s here.” He announces and Louis is thankful for the warning because he probably would’ve ended up accidentally punching him in the face if he just turned up behind him. _Accidentally._

“Hey guys.” Harry says and he smiles at Liam. Harry has a plaid shirt on, unbuttoned so it reveals the top of what looks like antennae on his stomach, and skinny black jeans that make Louis wonder if he chopped his dick off in order to fit into them.

“You look far too happy for four in the morning,” Louis tells him, raising his eyebrows.

“Live a little, Lewis. I’m just taking joy out of the job.” Harry replies with a smug smile. Louis nods at him.

“Touché.”

“I recommend we go over our identities to each other before we check in,” Liam suggests, which is… Actually a pretty good idea. The airport is practically empty and Louis knows for a fact that the CCTV doesn’t have sound so they’re probably alright for privacy.

“Good plan.” Niall says, “I’ll start. Niall Horan, from Mullingar in Ireland but moved to London three years ago to do music and stuff.” He smiles when he’s done and gestures for Liam to say his.

“Alright, I’m Liam Payne, from Wolverhampton but moved to London a year ago and became a bartender.” He nods at Harry.

“Harry Tomlinson, from Homes Chapel but I moved to London with my family when I was 16 because my mum’s promotion called for it.” Louis gapes and wrinkles his nose when Harry looks at him to say his.

“Un-fucking-believable. I’m originally from Doncaster but moved to London four years ago to study and King’s College in order to become a drama teacher,” All the boys look at him expectantly. “And I’m Louis Tomlinson.”

“No, you can’t be.” Harry shakes his head with a frown, “Are we meant to be brothers or something?”

“If we were I would’ve moved with you when your mum got a promotion. This must be a mistake.” Louis concludes, but Harry just shakes his head again and goes to rummage through his backpack.

“This can’t be a mistake. Syco doesn’t make mistakes.” Liam says, watching Harry while Niall starts to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Louis asks him and Niall laughs louder.

“Nothing, I’ve just got a theory.” He is still cackling slightly when Harry eventually finds what he was looking for. He pulls out the file.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Louis asks and Harry looks at him confusedly. “You can’t bring the damn file with you, you idiot!”

“Shit, yeah,” Harry says looking back down at it like it called his mother a whore, “I’ll just check the thing and then I’ll throw it away.” He opens the file and flicks through until he finds the page with his identity. His eyes scan over it and widen when they reach about three quarters of the way down.

“What is it?” Louis asks urgently, trying to see what Harry’s looking at.

“We’re married.” He breathes before throwing his head back and groaning.


	2. Lairport

“I was right!” Niall shouts in triumph and starts laughing again.

“Give me that.” Louis demands and snatches the file out of Harry’s grasp. He scans the page and finds the offending sentence, ‘ _Married to Louis Tomlinson as of 21 st May 2013’_. “This is unbelievable! You would have been 19, who gets married at 19?”

“Me, apparently,” Harry mutters and Louis scowls at him, “Oh come on, I’m not that bad! Don’t look so offended that you’re married to me. It could be worse.”

“Could it though?” Louis cannot believe this. Cowell must be having a good old laugh back at Syco knowing that Louis and Harry will be finding out about his little stunt right about now. Louis would kill him but he’s not that good of a spy. “Right we need to get rid of this.” Louis rests his coffee on top of his suitcase moves out of sight of the cameras. He pulls his pocket knife out of his, believe it or not, pocket and uses it to chop up the file. He throws the pieces in a bin then quickly grabs his cup again and pours the remaining coffee over them. After chucking the cup away as well, Louis goes back to the group.

“Sorted?” Liam asks while Niall is trying to get his breath back next to him.

“Sorted.” He pulls up the other strap of his backpack and grabs the handle of his suitcase again, “Best be off,” The other boys gather their things and Louis sees Harry give him an anxious look out of the corner of his eye. “What?” He snaps.

“I just-” Harry looks like his mouth is fighting whatever he’s trying to say, “I’m sorry. For bringing the file. That was stupid of me.” Louis is surprised by the apology and almost smiles at the other boy before remembering how much of a dick he is.

“Just try not to be such an idiot in future,” Harry’s apologetic look turns sour, “Dear.” Louis adds sarcastically before catching up with Niall where he has already walked off towards the check in desks. As soon and Niall notices him, he starts laughing again.

“It really isn’t that funny, Niall.” Louis sighs.

“It really is,” Niall insists, “I’ve been listening to you rant about how much you hate him for over a  _year,_ and now I get to witness you having to act couple-y with him for two months.” He snorts unattractively and pats Louis on the back, “It’s a dream come true.”

“You have weird dreams. I’m worried about what the others must be like if one of them involves Harry and me as a couple.”

“At least they’re not sexual fantasies. Be thankful I’m straight so-” Niall’s gaze catches on something, “Vending machine!” He runs off, dragging the suitcase behind him on a mission to get to a vending machine off to the right of the desks.

“What a tool.” Louis mutters to himself. He reaches the desk and smiles at the woman behind it who is wearing far too much makeup and looks like her boobs are pushed up to the point of escaping. She smiles back with a glint in her eye that kind of scares him.

“Passport?” She asks with what Louis thinks is a flirtatious smile. He keeps his polite when he hands it over, having taken it out of his backpack. “Where are you going, sweetie?” So it was definitely flirtatious. _Great._

“To France. I need to give you my ticket too, right?” He asks because it’s been a long time since he has been abroad.

“Right,” He hands it over too and she smiles again, “Oh, Paris? Romantic. Going with anyone special?” She inquires and Louis almost cringes at how obvious she is being. Just then he feels an arm slide over his shoulders and smells cinnamon.

“That would be me I guess,” Harry drawls with a lazy smile, “But it’s really like a lads’ holiday for us.” The woman looks taken back by the revelation that Louis is married (and gay) and he feels like saying ‘Shocking, right? I was shocked too when I found out we were married 5 minutes ago.’

“That’s lovely.” The woman quickly recovers. “Put your suitcase on the conveyor belt, love.” She tells him and Louis does as he’s told. Annoyingly, Harry’s arm stays around his shoulders while he does it. When she has sent his suitcase off, Harry hands over his and Liam’s passports and tickets with a smile. If Harry is going to play this game, Louis is going to win it. He slips his arm around Harry’s waist and feeling the other boy tense, bites down a smirk.

“How are you feeling, petal?” Louis asks him with a serene smile and Harry narrows his eyes.

“Much better now I’m back with you, honey-bun.” He replies and boy is he a good actor because that sounded genuine. Louis ducks his head with a fake blush.

“You’re so sweet, babe.” He says and Harry sighs next to him.

“Suitcases please, boys.” The woman at the desk cuts in with a smile and Harry goes to do so but Louis refuses to relinquish his hold.

“Liam can do that for you, dear. Missed you while you were all the way over there.” Louis tightens his hand and Harry clearly tries not to grimace in pain.

“Sure.” Liam takes the suitcases and shoots Louis a suspicious look, but Louis just smiles back at him, loosening his hand again.

“That was uncalled for.” Harry ducks down to whisper directly into his ear. Louis turns to whisper in Harry’s.

“Completely called for. You’re being a prick.” Harry pulls away with a frown but schools his features back into affection when he sees the woman is watching them. Louis does the same just as Niall is running back with five chocolate bars in hand.

“I got you all something!” He has a proud smile on his face, like a dog when it brings the mail to its owner.

“You’ve got five there.” Liam points out and Niall rolls his eyes.

“Two for him,” “Two for me!” Louis and Niall say at the same time. Liam laughs slightly and gestures for Niall to go to the front of them to sort out his suitcase. Harry and Louis step back, still entwined and Louis would like to say he is disgusted by their close proximity but there is no denying Harry is attractive. If he wasn’t such a dick, Louis would consider sucking his dick. Niall turns and gives them all a chocolate bar, and because of this, Louis and Harry have to let go of each other. Louis is glad for it. He is.

After they’re all checked in, they head to where they’ll have to be scanned. There are a few people already going through and Louis would groan at the queue but he knows that it’s a little different when you’re a spy. As his bag definitely contains sharp objects, as well as a gun, he would not get through the scan without being arrested.

This is the same for the other boys so they all head to the other end of the security scanners where someone from Syco is waiting for them. They take of their shoes and belts, and they take their phones out of their pockets, putting them all in a tray as to not look suspicious to the other people in the airport. However, when they walk through the scanner, nothing happens. Years ago, Syco hacked this station so that the conveyor belt works and the lights go off, but it doesn’t actually detect or scan anything. This means its agents can get through with undetected weapons. It’s genius, honestly.

“Thanks, mate.” Louis tells the man at the station once he’s through. He puts everything back in its place and grabs his bag again then waits for the others. When they’re all through, they head off to where they’ll be for the next hour and a half waiting for their flight.

Louis has always loved airports. He loves going to the shops and seeing what random stuff they have. He loves the fact that there are sleeping people everywhere and each person has a different destination they’re going to. He loves to sit in the seats and people watch, seeing all kinds of people wander around aimlessly as they have nothing better to do before they go off on their holiday/business trip/family visit/honeymoon. Everything about airports just feels freeing to him.

Louis spends the first hour wandering around shops with Niall, pointing out cool souvenirs like teddies with England flags, and really crappy souvenirs like mini Queen bobble heads. He doesn’t know where Liam and Harry are and honestly he doesn’t really care, he’s going to take this time to forget he’s on a deadly mission and breathe a little. He hasn’t had a holiday in all the time he has worked for Syco so he’s going to take the opportunity by its balls. That isn’t the expression but the point still stands. Eventually they go back to where they last left Liam and Harry sitting to find Harry sat on his own.

“I think I’m gunna go back and get that queen bobble head.” Niall suddenly says, backing away.

“I’ll come with you.” Louis suggests, giving Niall a look that he hopes says _don’t you dare leave me alone with him or I’ll cut you in your sleep._

“Nah, I’m good,” Niall smiles and winks, “I’ll only be gone a few minutes.” With that he’s off and Louis is left with only Harry for company. He sits down opposite the boy and tries to look anywhere but at him. Eventually he feels Harry’s gaze burning and he dares glance at him. He finds Harry frowning at him in concentration.

“Trying to burn a hole through my head?” Louis asks him with a cocked eyebrow and Harry shakes his head, frown deepening.

“Tryin’ to figure you out.” He says simply, like it makes sense.

“Do you have to creepily stare at me while doing so?” Louis tilts his head and Harry does the same but the other way and smiles.

“Well we are married. Doesn’t really matter if I stare at you.”

“Prick.” Louis narrows his eyes and Harry’s smile falls.

“Yeah, I know.” He sighs and leans back in his chair, finally looking away.

They end up sitting in silence until Niall returns.

“How are the love birds?” They both give him matching unimpressed looks and he snorts before sitting down beside Louis.

“Where’s the bobble head?” Louis asks him with raised eyebrows and Niall slaps his knee dramatically.

“Dammit! I forgot to get it! I just ended up going to the loo. I better-” He starts the stand but Louis pulls him back down and points a finger in his face.

“Don’t you dare.” He almost growls and Niall goes cross eyed trying to look at his finger.

“Alright, princess, calm down.” He shoves Louis’ hand away and slouches in his seat, looking around. Louis would so kill him if it didn’t involve tonnes of paperwork. Plus he has grown kind of fond of the Irish lad. _Dammit._

Eventually they are allowed to go to their gate, then it isn’t long until they’re boarding the plane. Louis is glad when he finds that he is seated next to Liam because at least he won’t stare at him or mock him.

“Louis, we need to talk.” _Oh no._ He’s worse. He’s an advice giver, Louis can feel it.

“About…?” Louis asks, apprehension in his voice. Liam sighs and glances to where Harry is making small talk with Niall a few seats away from them.

“Harry. You’re being immature.”

“Am not!” Louis exclaims then quickly lowers his voice when people look his way, “I’m not being immature.”

“Trying to out-do him earlier when we were checking in? You’re saying that isn’t immature?” Liam says incredulously.

“He started it.” Louis whines.

“Louis, you sound like a child. You need to stop all this.” Liam sounds so calm and collected and Louis is finding it very hard to find something to pick at him about.

“He could stop it too, you know. Why aren’t you talking to him?”

“One, because I’m sat next to you. And two, because he’s just trying to prove himself whereas _you_ are trying to put him down.”

“That’s a bit strong.” Louis defends himself. He isn’t trying to _put him down._ He is simply showing him who’s boss.

“Maybe. But you can’t deny that you’ve been purposefully picking at him.” Louis fish mouths for a moment before answering.

“I guess.” He admits.

“I think you need to cut him some slack. We’re going to all be stuck with each other for two months and if you don’t stop going for his throat it’s going to end badly.”

“Hey, I’m not the only one going for the throat here. He’s just as bad.” Louis reasons and Liam shakes his head.

“Is he, though? Name one thing he has done that counts as ‘going for the throat’ today.”

“He-” Louis goes to list but finds that he can’t think of anything, “He, um… He probably did do something and I just didn’t see it.” He offers weakly. Maybe he _has_ been too harsh to Harry today? After all, they’re meant to be married and will have to be around each other for a while, so it’d be pretty tiring to constantly dig at him. Louis would end up wasting time on hating Harry rather than actually doing his job. He doesn’t realise he’s staring at the other boy until Harry catches his gaze and holds it. Louis quickly looks back at Liam.

“Just,” Liam sighs, “Think about the mission, alright? Plus he’s my mate and I don’t want you to ruin this for him.” Liam adds with a small smile before putting in his earphones.

 _Crap,_ Louis thinks, _maybe he’s right._

*

In the file it said that their contact would be waiting in a car outside of the airport for them. Louis was expecting something black and shiny that looks like it belongs in a Bond film, so when he sees the red VW with the licence plate Louis had memorised he is kind of disappointed.

“A VW.” He states blankly, having stopped walking in the shock of it. Liam continued and got in the car without another word but Harry and Niall stopped too.

“I like it. Very vintage.” Harry tries with a shrug.

“I really hope the contact is wearing a tie dye shirt,” Niall remarks from beside him with a wistful smile, “That’d fuckin’ make my day.”

“You disgust me.” Louis tells him and shakes himself before climbing in after Liam. The other two climb in after him and slide the door shut. There’s a strong smell of weed in the car and the back is completely empty apart from a dream catcher and three seats. “I’ll sit in the front.” Louis volunteers, not wanting to be alone with Liam’s judgement, Niall’s teasing, and most of all, Harry’s stupid face. Louis might feel guilty for being harsh earlier but he still thinks Harry is a dick so all he is getting is tolerance.

“I’ll miss you, babe.” Niall says and Harry jokingly hits him on the arm.

“Hey, that’s _my_ husband.” He playfully glares at Niall and the other boy laughs before sitting beside him in the cushioned and very old looking seat. Louis climbs in front next to the contact.

“Hey, I’m Louis.” He holds out his hand and the contact shakes it with a barely there smile.

“Zayn,” He has a very strong accent but Louis presumes he knows English because Louis sure as hell can’t speak French. Louis takes a moment to take in his appearance. He has slightly darker skin and quiffed black hair. He’s wearing ripped jeans, a white t shirt and a leather jacket with contrasts with the hippy theme going on with the VW. His bone structure is fucking gorgeous and Louis would take him to bed if this weren’t, you know, a mission. “And you in the back there?” Zayn directs towards the others.

“’m Harry.” Harry smiles lazily and waves slightly. Zayn nods at him and looks at Liam who is typing furiously into his phone with a frown.

“I’m Liam.” He tells him and then looks back down at his phone. Zayn finally looks at Niall and his gaze drops down over his body. Louis feels like telling him ‘Niall’s straight so you might as well stop trying, I already have.’ Niall doesn’t say anything for a bit too long and both Zayn and Louis raise their eyebrows.

“Oh,” Niall coughs awkwardly, a blush high on his cheeks, “I’m Niall.”

“Nice to meet you, Niall.” Zayn says with a bigger smile than Louis got and he feels kind of insulted. Louis is plenty attractive, why doesn’t he get a once over and a smile? It’s rude, is what it is. Harry raises his eyebrows at this too and gives Louis a pointed look. He just smirks back at him and turns back around in his seat.

That is probably the least hostile interaction he has ever had with the other boy. Then again, it wasn’t that difficult because they weren’t speaking. Louis still mentally taps himself on the back for being a good boy.

“Let’s get this show on the road!” Niall shouts, having clearly regained his confidence, “Road trip! Road trip!” He starts chanting and Louis joins in. Eventually the whole car is chanting, including Zayn though he is only saying it quietly with a small smile. They drive off and Louis starts to feel a little better about this whole thing. He almost forgets he’s there on a job.

He is quickly reminded when Zayn pulls up to a hotel car park and turns to them with what looks like his business face.

“I know all of your identities but we need to know our dynamic.” He says and they all look back at him blankly.

“Dynamic?” Liam asks eventually and Zayn rolls his eyes.

“You guys have never done undercover work have you?”

“I’ll have you know-” Louis starts but Zayn raises his eyebrows and Louis falters, “Nope, never. No undercover work.” Zayn looks to the others and they all shake their heads along with Harry saying ‘Nope’, popping the ‘p’ at the end.

“Right,” Zayn sighs, “So with undercover work we need to be believable as a group of ‘mates’ for this.” Because of his accent it kind of sounds like ‘ziss’ and Louis tries to hold in a laugh. He has always found other accents quite entertaining, “What are our roles?”

“I’ll be the sensible one,” Liam suggests and looks at all of them, “I think I’m probably the sensible one anyway, so.” He shrugs.

“Alright, I’ll be the cool one. That’s usually what I go for.” Zayn adds with a smirk. Louis could buy that.

“Niall should be the baby, just saying.” Louis points at the other boy who is currently winding the window up and down while giggling like a mad man.

“Yeah, that fits.” Liam agrees and the others nod and murmur their agreements too.

“What are we all agreeing to?” Niall asks, snapping out of his giggle fit.

“You being our baby.” Zayn tells him with a glint in his eye.

“You make it sound so kinky.” Harry wrinkles his nose with a laugh and Zayn simply shrugs in response, meanwhile Niall is blushing furiously.

“Because of that comment I’m going to say you’re the flirt.” Louis waggles his eyebrows.

“Nope!” Niall protests with a satisfied smile, “He can’t flirt with anyone because you two are _marr-ied._ ” He sing-songs and Louis is very tempted to punch that smug expression off his stupid face.

“Good point. Can I be the nice one? Like, the one that tells everyone they’re beautiful and says please and thank you.” Harry smiles and Louis notices for the first time that Harry has very prominent dimples. They’re kind of pretty. _Shut up, brain._

“Boring, but it’ll work.” Louis begrudgingly agrees, “I’ll be the sarcastic one because then it doesn’t involve acting which I am shit at.”

“Lies!” Niall bellows, “One time you flirted with that chick for Intel and you’re gay so that was pretty fine acting.”

“Flirting doesn’t count. Flirting is flirting.” Louis argues.

“That really does not matter right now,” Zayn interrupts the argument with a scolding look at Louis.

“Hey, Niall was arguing too!” Louis says petulantly, pointing at him. Niall smacks his hand away and mutters something about not accepting compliments.

“I don’t care,” Zayn shrugs, “You two,” He gestures between Louis and Harry, “Don’t forget to be like a couple. You’ll need the practise. Let’s go.”

“What do you-?” Louis starts to ask but Zayn is already out of the car and on his way to the entrance, “Practise?” He tries to ask the others but Niall is already gone, having got out just after Zayn, and Liam just shrugs while Harry shakes his head.

“No clue,” The curly haired boy says, “But he sounds like he knows what he’s talking about so we should prob’ly do what he says.”

Louis hates it when Harry makes sense because that means he has to agree with him. Louis _hates_ agreeing with Harry. He hates him. He _does_.


	3. Some Spy Stuff

Louis cannot believe this. Why have so many bad things been happening to him since the start of this damned trip?

“Sorry, can you repeat that?” He asks the woman at the desk who rolls her eyes and pops her gum before answering in her strong French accent.

“You are on the top floor. The room has three single beds and one double bed.” _Yes._ That’s what Louis thought she said. Niall is hiding snickers behind his hand and Louis is just about ready to shoot him in the head.

“Alright, we’ll be off then,” Harry says with a smile as he drapes his arm over Louis’ shoulder, “Lovely meeting you.” He winks. Yes, he _bloody winks._ Then they all walk off to the lifts with their suitcases dragging behind them.

“Right, who wants to switch with me?” Louis asks the lift as a whole once the doors have slid shut. Harry slips his arm off and frowns at the metal doors.

“Can’t, I kick.” Niall tells him with a smug smile that Louis wants to slap off. So he does. “What did you do that for?!” Niall exclaims, clutching his cheek.

“That’s what you get for being a prat. Anyone else?” Zayn is frowning at Niall in concern and muttering something in French.

“ _Les Anglais sont des connards. Je devrais être payé plus_.”

But obviously Louis can’t speak French so he’s at a loss to the meaning. He looks to Liam who raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’m going to be doing a lot of research on the laptop so it’s probably best I have my own bed.” He says apologetically but Louis has a feeling he isn’t sorry at all.

“Guess you’re stuck with me, then.” Harry tries for a smile but it’s weak at the corners.

“I guess I am.” Louis doesn’t even try to smile back. The lift dings and Louis immediately storms out and towards the door, since he has the key. “Just saying, I take the left side of the bed.”

“That’s fine, I usually sleep on the right.” Harry replies with an easy smile as he comes into the room as well. He throws his suitcase onto his side of the bed and smirks to himself, “Also,” He looks up at Louis with a glint in his eye, “I’m a cuddler.” Louis would like to say he didn’t blush. That would be a lie.

“Alright lads, where’s the mini bar?” Niall slams in (literally. He seemed to think it was appropriate to shove the open door even more so that it slams into the wall making a loud bang that both Harry and Louis flinch at).

“It should be in that corner. I stayed here a few years ago and I’m very sure they don’t change the, how you say, décor.” Zayn tells him as he and Liam walk in. “ _Je aime le peuple irlandais . Surtout ceux mignonne et blonde._ ” Louis doesn’t like the fact that Zayn seems to slip into French at random intervals.

“ _Je peux parler français. Juste pensé que je voudrais que vous sachiez_.” Niall easily replies while his head is in the mini fridge. Zayn’s eyes widen and he blushes slightly (you can’t really tell with the stubble).

“ _Bon à savoir_.” Zayn finally says and then suddenly becomes very interested in unpacking his suitcase.

“Okay, from this point forward I demand no French.”

“That’s a stupid rule. Zayn _is_ French.” Niall argues. Niall never argues with Louis. What the hell does he think he’s playing at?

“Merci, Niall.” Zayn smiles at the other boy who smiles back. Louis is going to puke.

“I liked you way better when you agreed with everything I say.” Louis tells his ex-best friend before moving to unpack his own suitcase.

“I’m going to go get the blueprints to the building.” Liam informs them, pulling his laptop out of the suitcase.

“Why?” Niall asks dumbly.

“So we can make escape routes or find hiding places. God knows who might end up finding us and trying to kill us.” Harry tells him with a small smile, “Better to be safe than sorry, right?”

“Right. Nicely learned, Harry.” Liam praises him with a ruffle of his hair, “Be back in a bit. You’ve all got the walkie-talkies, right?” They all brandish their walkie-talkies that they had sorted out on the journey over to the hotel. It’s probably more effective than phones because of signal. (Plus they look super cool and you can say ‘over’ when you’re done).

Harry seems to be done unpacking for now because he plops the suitcase on the floor and belly flops onto the bed.

“This is really comfy.” He mumbles into the duvet.

“And my side,” Louis tells him. Harry has managed to land so that his upper half is on Louis’ side of the bed and Louis will be damned if he lets this madness go on any longer. “Bugger off.” He nudges Harry’s head with his hand and, _wow,_ his hair is soft.

“I don’t wanna.” Harry protests petulantly, while Louis is still touching his hair.

“What do you use to shampoo this? The tears of rich children?” Harry lifts himself up so he’s resting on his elbows and Louis pulls his hand away like he was burned.

“Blood of virgins, actually.” Harry corrects him nonchalantly with a smirk. “Soft, right?”

“Maybe,” Louis refuses to compliment him, “Now get off my side of the bed, you cretin.”

*

Their weapons get shipped in two days later. They spend those two days planning how they’re going to go about taking down the business. Eventually they agree on getting all of the data they can from the mainframe, then using that to find all of the weaknesses in the corporation. It’s decided that it would be more concrete to destroy the whole thing than just the branch involved in trying to get the codes to nuclear weapons. (“It’s like when you’re weeding, you’ve got to get the roots out otherwise the weed just keeps re-growing.” Harry added what he must’ve thought was helpfully)

The weapons come in more suitcases and the woman downstairs looks suitably confused before Zayn explains to her that they are what got lost at the airport. He throws in a wink for good measure, just to make sure the woman doesn’t want to investigate any further.

The two nights before had been eventful, Louis thinks as he assembles his rifle. Harry had definitely not been lying when he said he was a cuddler. Louis woke up in the middle of the night from heat to find a Harry-shaped octopus attached to every part of his body. Harry had ended up spooning Louis. _Harry_ was the big spoon. Louis, yes, _Louis,_ was the little spoon. Even if you held him at gun point, Louis would absolutely deny the fact that he snuggled back into the other boy and fell straight back to sleep.

In the morning, Louis woke up to find Harry already awake and watching him with a curious expression. The reason Louis could see his face then was because they had ended up lying facing each other, entwined from the waist down. Harry noticed Louis was awake and frowned, seeming to wait for Louis to react to their situation. Louis coughed awkwardly.

“I need to pee.” He said finally, breaking the weird staring contest they were having.

“Go pee, Louis.” Harry laughed before rolling away and Louis almost whined at the loss of warmth. It was definitely because of the warmth because Louis _hates_ Harry. He really does.

“Louis?” Liam breaks Louis’ angry assembling with a gentle shake of his shoulder, “God, mate, I thought you had fallen asleep with your eyes open.”

“If only that were possible, Liam,” Louis says with a sigh, “I would be a much happier man.”

“Wouldn’t we all.” Liam agrees wistfully. Louis looks across to where Harry has also pulled up a chair to his side of the bed and is meticulously assembling an Arsenal Firearms AF1 Strike One. He has a crease in his brow and his tongue is sticking out slightly in concentration. Louis is hit by how attractive the boy in front of him is. So much so that he fumbles with his rifle and ends up dropping the piece he was trying to attach.

“ _Shit,_ ” He whispers under his breath before dipping down to grab it.

“Don’t you think a hand gun would be more useful for this, Lou?” Niall asks him from where he and Zayn are leant over some blueprints.

“Yeah, maybe. I just automatically go for my rifle now.” Louis shakes himself and moves to his suitcase to grab his Balister-Molina. She has come in handy (pun intended) over the years and Louis is quite attached to her. He moves back to the bed and disassembles her before putting her back together again. When he does things like this he gets lost in his own world. Everything slips away: his worries about the job, Harry and his stupid face, Niall and his constant chatter, Liam and his sensibleness, Zayn and his whatever Zayn does. It’s just Louis and the weapon. It’s calming, and Louis doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of it.

Eventually it is time to go and they gather to discuss the plan one more time.

“Liam, you’re gunna stay in the van and watch surveillance. Warn us if there’s anything happenin’ we need to know ‘bout.” Niall starts.

“Niall and Louis are going to go in through the back entrance that you can see here,” Zayn points to a door on the blueprints, “Then Harry and me are going to come in from either side and meet you guys in the middle. From there we should have covered all security and we can get the data from the computer room here,” He points to a little room down a corridor from where they’re meeting.

“Then we put the chip in the mainframe so Liam has access to all the data and shit.” Niall holds up the mentioned chip, then pointedly puts it in his black bomber jacket’s sleeve pocket before gesturing for Zayn to continue.

“Then we get out of there _aussi vite que nous le pouvons_.”

“As fast as we can.” Niall translates when Louis looks at him quizzically.

“We all ready?” Liam asks them, getting collective nods in return.

“Come on, hubby. Let’s get this show on the road.” Harry smiles at Louis who rolls his eyes before leading the way out of the hotel room.

*

Louis is surrounded. Niall is unconscious. Harry is hiding around a corner. Zayn is nowhere to be found.

So much for the plan.

“Put the gun down.” One of the men in military uniform tells him.

“I’d really rather not.” Louis replies with a smile, “You see, you already have the upper hand here, so can you at least leave me my dignity?”

“ _Put the gun down._ ” The man pushes through gritted teeth.

“Alright, alright. Bossy much.” Louis lowers the gun to the floor and stands again with his hands up. Harry has been looking around the corner to the situation for a few minutes, seeming to be choosing the right time to pounce. Louis really wants to tell him to get the fuck on with it.

The circle of men begins to close in and Louis starts to panic. Suddenly, Zayn jumps out from the opposite corner, yelling:

“Viva le revolution!” And shooting 4 of the guys straight in the head. Harry follows his lead, as this must have been the opportunity he had been waiting for.

“Viva le revolution!” He yells too before letting his own gun fire. The men start to fire back and then it’s tonnes of noise and Louis thinks it has only been a few seconds. He notices that the man who was threatening him earlier is shooting at Harry and Zayn, completely ignoring the fact that Louis is still behind him. He kicks up his gun, as years of footie has taught him, and catches it in his right hand. He steps up to the man and holds the gun to his head.

“You should’ve told me to kick it away, too.” He remarks, pulling the trigger. The man falls to the floor with a thud but there are still gunshots going on around him. He fires and ducks, then fires again. He punches and kicks, ducks, fires, then ducks again. Most of the men seem to be down and Louis and Zayn are just knocking another unconscious when a shout comes from behind them.

“ _Fuck!_ ” That is unmistakably Harry’s low rasp of a voice that certainly does not match his angelic looks. _Not the time,_ Louis tells himself.

“Let him go.” Zayn says threateningly, holding up his gun to the man who has Harry round the throat, a gun to his head.

“ _Laisse moi vivre.”_ The man spits.

“ _Je vais vous donner une mort rapide.”_ Zayn says with a low rumble that even scares Louis a little, “I repeat myself: Let him go, _tois, fils de pute._ ”

Niall’s weak voice comes from behind them, “ _Juste lui tirer dans la tête.”_ Zayn looks like he wants to run over but clearly can’t so Louis does instead.

“Hey mate, how you feeling?” Louis asks him gently.

“Not so great. My head fuckin’ hurts.” There’s some blood on his forehead and Louis grimaces in sympathy.

“ _Je vais tuer le garcon.”_ The man reminds them of his presence with a snarl. Harry struggles in his grip to no avail.

“Mind translating?” Louis whispers to Niall.

“He said he’s going to kill Harry.” Niall says with venom and a glare at the man in question.

“ _Shit.”_ Louis mutters.

“Not if I kill you first.” Harry says with determination before pulling on the man’s arm and bending over so he flips onto the floor over Harry’s back. Harry plants a knee on his sternum and another on the arm holding the gun. “I’ll take that.” He says, opening the man’s grip with what sounds like finger breaking force. He takes the gun and shoots the man in the head without hesitation.

Louis is a little turned on.

“ _Guys?”_ Liam’s voice comes through their walkie-talkies.

“We’re here, Liam.” Harry replies, wiping blood off his face with the hand not holding the walkie-talkie.

“ _Get the chip in so you can get the hell out of there, please?”_

“Sure thing.” Harry says before slipping the device back over his belt.

“That was impressive, Harry.” Niall says from where he’s still sat on the floor, leaning against the wall.

“Thanks,” Harry replies with a far too sweet smile for someone who just killed a man. “Do you guys know what walkie-talkie is in French?”

*

They all covered their faces when they climbed into the van as to avoid CCTV, and as soon as Louis was in he slumped to the ground and put his head in his hands.

“That could not have gone more wrong.” He grumbles as the others sit down in various other parts of the van.

“Well, I could’ve died.” Harry suggests with a shrug.

“That would’ve been better.” Louis remarks out of habit. He only feels slightly bad when Harry looks hurt and refuses to make eye contact with him. Because Louis hates Harry.

“ _Est-ce qu'ils détestent les uns les autres?_ ” Zayn whispers to Niall and Louis is getting tired of this not knowing French bullshit.

“ _Il est de savoir comment Louis montre l'amour._ ” Niall shrugs back and Louis immediately glares at him when he hears his name.

“What?” Louis snaps.

“We were talking about you, not to you, Lou-bear.” Niall smiles sweetly then winces and brings his hand to his head.

“ _Ne fais pas ça. Vous êtes blesse_.” Zayn says warningly to the Irish lad before pulling out a first aid kit from a box a few feet away from him.

“Stop fussin’, I’m fine. It’s merely a flesh wound.”

“I don’t think now is the time for Monty Python.” Liam tells him from the driver’s seat, “Everyone ready?”

“Ready for take-off, Liam.” Harry smiles at the same time Niall mutters, “It’s always time for Monty Python.”

Liam pulls out from the little back alley they used as a hide out, “Lou-bear,” Harry says almost to himself, “I like that. I’m gunna use that.” He then addresses Louis with a smirk.

“No you’re not.”

“Mhm, I am. You can’t stop me. Gotta stay in character, ‘member.” That doesn’t mean Louis can’t subtly hurt him, but Harry doesn’t need to know that until later.

“You’re a menace.”

“You love me really.” When his dimples come on display, Louis can’t really be bothered to articulate a witty reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The French- (paraphrased)
> 
> "The english are arseholes. I should be paid more."
> 
> "I like Irish people. Especially the cute and blond ones."
> 
> "I can speak french. Just thought I'd let you know."
> 
> "Good to know."
> 
> "Then we get out of there as fast as we can."
> 
> "Let me live."
> 
> "I will make your death quick." 
> 
> "Let him go, you son of a bitch."
> 
> "Just shoot him in the head."
> 
> "I will kill the boy."
> 
> "Do they hate each other?"
> 
> "That's how Louis shows his love."
> 
> "Don't do that. You're injured."


	4. To the Ball

“We are doing what now?” Louis narrows his eyes at Liam.

“I can’t get into the chip from here. So we’re going to the DJ’s house. It’ll only work on his computer.” Liam repeats calmly, still furiously typing into his laptop.

“And how are we planning on doing that? I mean, it’ll be heavily guarded. We’d need a fool proof plan.” Harry frowns at the floor.

“He is having a party two days from now,” Zayn pipes in from where he and Niall are sat down against the wall in their hotel room, “We will attend the party and try sneak into the computer room while he is busy hosting.”

“We get to party as well as do spy shit!” Niall exclaims with a broad smile, “That’s like my two favourite things put together! Fucking brilliant, mate.”

“Don’t go too wild,” Liam’s eyes don’t stray from the screen, “We only have a month to get this done.”

“Piss easy,” Niall snorts, “We’re the best in the biz.” He holds out his fist for Zayn to bump, and he does so with a roll of his eyes.

“So we have two days to come up with a plan.” Louis concludes, running a nervous hand through his hair.

“We can do this, Lou. It’ll be fine.” Harry smiles at him, just a hint of dimple showing in the corner of his mouth. Louis would be lying if he said he didn’t feel at all reassured by that smile.

“You know, this might be why Cowell had you two be married,” Niall gestures between Louis and Harry.

“And why would that be?” Louis asks as he flops back onto his side of the bed.

“The DJ,” Zayn starts instead of Niall, “Is a gay rights activist. He would probably be more welcoming to a gay couple than a load of straight boys on a holiday.”

“That’s actually quite clever.” Harry muses from where he is perched on the end of his and Louis’ bed, “We can _bond._ ”

“Exactly.” Liam nods.

This is going to be _so_ much fun.

“I’m gunna go wash this blood off me.” Harry declares before getting up and heading into the en-suite.

“Does he scare any of you?” Niall asks with a faux shiver.

“Adorable yet deadly,” Zayn laments before smiling at Niall, “J'adore ça.”

Niall snorts and Louis really wishes he knew French.

*

Louis feels like a million pounds in his suit. He always loves being able to wear a suit because it’s rare he ever gets the chance to. He’s hot as fuck and he loves showing it. The rest of the boys are also dressed to impress and Louis is not going to lie, he is very impressed.

The house they pull up to is inappropriately large and Louis wants to throw up all over it. It’s fucking beautiful and Louis wishes he could own something like it. He earns enough money to, but being a spy means a certain lifestyle. Huge mansions aren’t exactly inconspicuous.

“Shit on a dick.” Niall gasps as they roll up the long driveway in their crappy VW.

“I don’t think that’s a phrase, Niall,” Liam tells him but doesn’t seem too concerned because he too is staring out of the window in awe, “But I agree. Shit on a dick.”

“Liam!” Louis pretends to choke, “Such bad language from a child’s mouth! I am offended. Cover your ears,” He leans over and puts both of his hands over Harry’s ears, “I can’t have my husband being tainted by such profanities.”

“We literally watched him shoot a guy in the face.” Zayn says, looking at Louis through the rear-view mirror with raised eyebrows. Raised, _judging_ eyebrows. Louis removes his hands.

“Shut the fuck up, Zayn.”

“No!” Harry holds the back of his hand to his forehead, “My poor innocent soul.” Louis laughs before he can hold it in and is about to regret it before Harry is beaming at him like Louis’ laugh is the best thing he has heard in the world.

“Show time, boys.” Niall says joyfully as he slips out of the car.

“Afficher l'heure.” Zayn breathes before following him.

“How are we going to do this?” Liam starts to panic, “I can’t act for shit. They’re going to know I’m a spy as soon as we get in there and it’s all going to go wrong and we’re all going to get ki-” Louis holds a hand over his mouth.

“We are not going to fuck this up, Liam.” He tries to put in as much belief as he can into the words. Liam has proved himself worthy of Louis’ belief.

“You’re a great spy, Liam. This is just any other mission,” Harry pipes up from beside him, “We’re gunna smash it.” He smiles like it’s an inside joke, which it must be because Liam starts to smile under Louis’ hand. He drops it to his lap and tries to smile reassuringly.

“Let’s go smash it.” His smile becomes easy when Liam beams at him.

“Smash it, yeah.” Liam says to himself before finally climbing out of the car. Louis finally turns to Harry with a nervous tilt to his lips to find Harry smiling easily at him.

“Think you can pretend to like me for one night?” He says teasingly but there’s some uncertainty in his eyes.

“I think I can. I’m a professional.” Louis doesn’t know why but he feels like reassuring the boy. He doesn’t feel any hate when he looks in those green eyes. That’s why when Harry holds out his hand, Louis takes it without hesitation and they climb out of the car together.

Louis locks the door with the key he was given like the other boys during that first car journey and takes a deep breath. He can do this.

Harry and Louis walk to the door hand in hand and find that the others have already gone in. There’s a man stood at the door in a white suit with a tray filled with glasses of champagne. He greets them with a smile and they each take one, clearly not planning on drinking it as they’re on a mission.

“Where do you think they’ve gone?” Harry asks out the side of his mouth, hand still grasped in Louis’ as he smiles at the people walking by.

“Probably scoping the place out.” Louis replies, doing the same. He shoots a sideways glance at the other boy to find him nodding. Before they know it a man looking in his late thirties is sauntering his way over to them with his arms spread and a wide smile.

“Guests! Guests I do not know! Welcome!” He greets enthusiastically and Louis smiles faux brightly back at him.

“Nice to meet you. I’m guessing you’re Mr Grimshaw?” Louis asks, knowing the answer. This is clearly the man from the pictures in the file.

“Please, call me Nick. We’re all friends here!” He holds up his hands again and some of the people nearby cheer. Louis’ smile twitches.

“I’m Harry, this is Louis,” Harry introduces them after a few beats too long of silence, “We heard about your work for gay rights, yeah? Thought we’d come check you out.” He smiles and Louis would be surprised if Nick didn’t immediately trust him. Harry has a very trustworthy smile.

“Harry! Louis! Beautiful names for beautiful people. Please, come on into the main room,” Nick turns and leads them through the crowd of people gathered in the foyer into a large hall with tables around the edge of the room and soft music playing, “Enjoy yourselves, men. Things like this happen once in a lifetime,” His eyes narrow slightly, “I’ll be keeping an eye on you two!” He starts to back away, “So make sure you’re always having a blast!” He shouts the last word and there’s another cheer.

“Well he’s a pompous arse hole.” Louis states as they go further into the room. He notices their hands are still grasped together but finds he doesn’t really mind.

“He seems friendly to me,” Harry shrugs, “Just a shame about the whole being the ‘bad guy’ thing.” He does air quotations, meaning he picks up Louis’ hand with his. He still doesn’t let go.

“Of course you think he’s friendly,” Louis rolls his eyes, “You both have no sense of personal boundaries.”

“Hey.” Harry draws the word out and tries to sound offended but there’s a small smile playing on his lips. They stop walking and stand by a little table near the back of the room, putting down their champagne glasses. Louis takes a moment to look around. There are three crystal chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling, glistening and shining from the bright lights in them. Everyone is dressed up like this is a ball rather than a party, but Louis supposes he might be the only one calling it a ‘party’. It might be a ball for all he knows. There are small groups of people gathered round the tables skirting the room, but there are just as many people dancing in the middle of the room. It’s a slow song so it’s like a scene out of pride and prejudice. Not that Louis has ever seen that. He doesn’t do chick flicks. He’s a manly man. The notebook absolutely did not make him cry.

He notices Nick on the other side of the room, watching them unsubtly. Louis lets his gaze roll over the man so he doesn’t know Louis has spotted him. He steps so that he is stood in front of Harry and moves forward so he is crowded into the other boy.

“Nick is watching us.” He whispers with a smile, his eyes searching Harry’s who clears his throat and looks down at Louis.

“Maybe we should dance.” He offers with a nervous tilt to his voice.

“Brilliant idea.” Louis tugs on their still linked hands and leads Harry to the middle of the room. He has had many ballroom dancing lessons in his time, so he knows exactly what he is doing when he gets in position.

“Why am I the girl?” Harry asks with a frown. Louis hums in fake thought.

“I think it’s the hair.” He says conspiratorially. Harry breathes a laugh but swaps their positions.

“You’re shorter.” He reasons, a smile curling up the corners of his mouth.

“You’re more feminine.” Louis swaps their positions again.

“Says the man with hips that just do _not_ lie.” Harry changes them again.

“My hips lie all the time.” Louis argues but doesn’t change their positions as they begin to sway and step.

“Don’t insult your hips.” Harry gasps, supposedly affronted.

“I’ll do what I want.” Louis teases, finding he can’t hold in his smile.

“You’re a strong independent woman who don’t need no man.” Harry finally lets his smile go and then there’s dimples and Louis’ knees wobble.

“I am _all_ man, Harold.” Harry steps on his foot, “ _Jesus.”_

“S-sorry,” Harry stutters, “I know you’re all man, Louis. Trust me, I know.” He sounds almost exasperated and Louis is confused.

“Good.” He replies instead of inquiring, finding he is quite enjoying this dance, “Apart from your little stumble, you’re quite the dancer.”

“Used to do it all the time with my mum.” Harry tells him from where he is looking at the floor in concentration.

“Must be a wonderful teacher to get all those limbs to cooperate with rhythm.” Louis muses, looking at the frown creasing Harry’s forehead and trying not to be tempted to smooth it out with his thumb.

“She really was,” Harry looks up with a sad smile and looks back down again. _Was._

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Louis says and is surprised by the sincerity. Harry looks back up with his usual smile this time.

“No worries,” He moves his arm so Louis has to spin under it, “You didn’t know.”

Louis can’t hold in the giggle when Harry spins him out and then back into his arms to Louis’ back is to his chest.

“You’re easy to spin. Another reason you’re the girl.” Harry whispers in his ear before turning him around again and getting them back into their original positions.

“Well,” Louis tilts his head, “I have to admit being spun is quite fun.”

“Want to do it again?” Harry’s smile is blinding.

Louis nods. He does want to do it again. He never wants it to end.

“Mind if I step in?” Niall taps Harry’s shoulder. Harry does a faux bow with a smile and backs away, glancing back at them before he reaches the end of the dancefloor. “Alright, Tommo?”

“Tommo?” Louis asks as they get into position and begin dancing again.

“From Tomlinson. Suits you,” He clears his throat, “Anyway, Liam is at the main computer and Zayn is keeping watch. He said he should be into the chip in about an hour. Think you can keep the DJ occupied until then?”

“Sure,” Louis nods, “Harry’s quite the charmer so it shouldn’t be problem.”

“Harry’s a charmer, eh?” Niall smirks as they continue to step around the room, “That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve said about him.”

“And? I still hate the brat.” Louis looks over to where Harry is chatting to some people near the table where they set their glasses down. He has his social smile on, the one that isn’t quite genuine but could appear to be to anyone without a keen eye.

“Do you, Louis? Do you really?” Niall gives him a pointed look when Louis eventually drags his gaze back to the blond boy, “You see, before we came out here I would lose count of the amount of times you’d mention all the things you hate about Harry in a day. Now I don’t have anything to count.”

“Your point?” Louis snaps.

“My point,” Niall mocks Louis’ tone, “Is that maybe you should think a little about how you really feel about Harry.”

Louis has already been thinking about that, thank you very much _Niall._ He just doesn’t want to put a name to the feeling in his stomach whenever he now looks at the younger boy. “Do I need to bring up you and Zayn?”

“Me and Zayn?” Niall snorts but his cheeks redden, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Louis simply raises an eyebrow.

“Right, I think I best be off. Don’t want to give your husband the wrong ideas about my intentions with you.” Niall stammers and quickly walks away from Louis, leaving him stood in the middle of the dancefloor, torn between wanting the laugh and cry. He really needs to sort his feelings out.

He walks over to where Harry is talking to a woman looking in her late thirties, and if Louis is not mistaken, said woman is flirting like hell. Louis doesn’t think too much about what he does next.

“Why hello there,” He says cheerily as he reaches them, “Been making friends have we?” Louis slings his arm around Harry’s waist without looking at him, keeping his eyes firmly on the woman who has suddenly got a very uncomfortable look on her face.

“Oh, hello,” She says, recovering, “I’m Caroline.” He holds out a hand and Louis just looks at it. She pulls it back awkwardly and tries for a smile again.

“Caroline was just telling me about what it’s like to work in radio.” Harry smiles down at him and Louis pretends to look impressed.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Louis smiles, looking back and Caroline, “You have got the face for radio.”

“Louis!” Harry pinches his side.

“I’m joking! Jeez,” Louis rolls his eyes, hoping it looks fond, “Caroline knew I was joking. Didn’t you, Caroline?”

“Of course,” She agrees with an uncertain nod, “Well, I think I better go see how Nick is doing. Lovely meeting you Harry,” Her gaze falls on Louis and her expression turns awkward, “Louis.”

“Have a good night, Caroline.” Harry smiles politely and waits until she’s gone to let the smile fall, “What the hell was that?”

“I was playing my part.” Louis removes his arm and crosses it through the other petulantly, refusing to make eye contact.

“What, of an arse hole?” Harry looks genuinely confused as to why Louis was acting that way.

“No, of a jealous husband. She was so obviously flirting with you, and you’re married. Had to make it clear.”

“Did you, though?” Harry frowns.

“I was marking my territory.”

“Your territory.” Harry repeats blankly.

“Yes.” Louis finally makes eye contact with him and finds that Harry looks even more confused than his tone suggested. He’s about to ask why he’s so befuddled when Zayn quickly walks up to them with a panic stricken expression.

“Zayn?” Harry asks, concerned.

“Niall and Liam,” Zayn looks around quickly and quietens his voice even more, “Liam was gone when I went to check on him and Niall never came back from finding you.”

“ _What?_ ” Louis whisper shouts.

“You heard me,” Zayn hisses, “I don’t know how but someone here knows who we are and what we are trying to do.”

“So our covers are blown.” Harry whispers.

“No shit,” Louis says in awe, “What do we do?”

“Find Liam and Niall, then get the hell out of here and contact Cowell.” Zayn nods like he has just come up with this plan.

“Alright, where should we look first?” Harry asks, but Zayn is already walking away.

“Just follow me.” He says, his forehead shining with sweat as he scratches the back of his neck.

“You alright, mate?” Louis touches Zayn’s shoulder but the other boy flinches away.

“I’m fine. Just want to find them,” He walks faster, “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The French- (Paraphrased)
> 
> "I love it."
> 
> "Show time."


	5. One Direction

Zayn leads them to a large hall with a giant dining room table with chairs surrounding it. He looks around nervously and scratches the back of his neck, muttering under his breath in French.

“Zayn,” Louis tries to snap him out of it, “You need to calm down. Being in this state will not help us find Liam and Niall.” Zayn doesn’t snap out of it. He keeps muttering under his breath.

“I don’t think they’re in here.” Harry thinks out loud, looking around. The room is completely empty apart from the three of them.

“Oh yes they are.” A voice comes from behind them. Louis quickly turns around to see Nick Grimshaw walking in, two guards behind him holding a struggling Niall and a stoic Liam.

“Three against three. We can take them.” Louis works out, already cataloguing who should take who. Louis wants Nick all to himself, then decides that Harry could take the more buff guard holding Liam, while Zayn can take the other holding Niall.

“Three against three?” Nick dramatically counts on his fingers, “I think you got your numbers wrong there, Louis.”

“What? I don’t-” He starts to argue but then he sees that Zayn has moved. He’s now standing next to Nick with a carefully blank expression.

“Zayn?” Harry says tentatively from Louis’ right, “What is this?”

“It’s called a double agent, Harry.” Zayn replies, void of emotion. Niall stops struggling.

“You’re working with Nick.” Louis states, a bitter taste in his mouth as he sees Niall’s face fall.

“Nicely observed, Louis.” Zayn raises an eyebrow.

“You fucking ass!” Niall shouts as he gets an arm free and elbows the guard holding him in the face. He manages to get out of his grip and punches Zayn square in the jaw. He doesn’t stop there, pushing Zayn over and straddling him so he can get in as many blows as possible. “We all trusted you, you dick! You were one of us! We trusted you! _I_ trusted you!” Eventually three more guards come in and pull him off, but he keeps struggling and shouting curses at the newly beaten snake. Louis moves in to get him as well but Harry holds him back by his elbow.

“Don’t bother. I wouldn’t be surprised if Nick has twenty more guards waiting outside those doors.”

“Smart boy,” Nick remarks with raised eyebrows, “Unfortunately it’s a bit late for smart.” He clicks his fingers and at least 10 more guards come in, grabbing all four of them and pushing them into chairs, wrapping rope around them, making sure they can’t move. Louis struggles as best he can, and he can see that Harry is too. But damn, these guards know how to tie a good knot. Nick crouches in front of Louis with a condescending smile.

“I always get what I want, Louis.” Louis spits at his feet, “Come on now, let’s not be immature. I’ll have to bring out my secret weapon.”

“Secret weapon?” Liam asks and there’s more venom in his voice than Louis has ever heard.

“Yes. Secret weapon. You see, Louis,” Nick laughs slightly, “And I’m going to go really cliché here, if that even is your real name, I’m a resourceful guy. I cover my tracks,” He holds out a hand and a guard comes up to him holding a file. He hands it to Nick and goes back to his position by the door, “I know how to make people go down the wrong roads and look for wrong things. I can make blood hounds chase the wrong scent for years if I want to. Do you get what I mean?”

The cogs in Louis’ brain are turning a mile a minute as he tries to piece everything together. Going down the wrong road? Chasing the wrong scent? That means looking for the wrong thing, being sent in the wrong direction or after the wrong goal.

“You’re not after nuclear weapon codes.” Nick laughs and pats him on the head like Louis is a fucking dog.

“Nicely figured out. No, I’m not.” He flicks open the file and stands up, a guard already pulling out a chair for Nick to sit his pompous ass in, “Dead father, four little sisters, recently re-married mother, graduated from a high school in Doncaster, trained to work for syco, became a field agent three years ago,” Louis’ eyes are bulging when Nick looks up at him with a smug smile, “Sound familiar?”

“How did you-?” He starts but Nick interrupt him.                                                                                                    

“Resourceful, remember?” He chuckles again before gesturing to where Zayn is stood in the same place as he was before, “Plus I had help.”

“I still can’t believe it,” Harry speaks for the first time since they were tied up, more to himself than the room as a whole.

“Well believe it, Harold. Zaynie here works for me and has told me everything along the way. Those walkie-talkies he gave you?” He laughs lightly, “I had one of my own. Heard every little thing.”

“Bastard.” Niall mutters, staring at the same spot on the ground that he has been for the last 5 minutes. Zayn flinches and looks away from the group.

“I don’t appreciate the language,” Nick makes a vague gesture with his hand and one of the guards steps forward, swings her arm back and punches Niall in the face, forcing a shout out of the boy. Louis grimaces and squeezes his eyes shut, “Now, how about you, Harry?” Nick smiles in a way that could be described as sweet when he holds his hand out for another file. “Dead mother and father,” Nick looks up and tuts, “Classic orphan story,” He looks down again, “Sister went missing three years ago which is how you got in the business. Allergic to peanuts,” Nick hums thoughtfully and looks up to the ceiling, “You know what I love about these files? So thorough. It really makes my day when I read these before bed. Quite a scintillating read.”

“You’re disgusting.” Harry pushes through his gritted teeth, blinking rapidly.

“You say disgusting, I say-”

“Resourceful, we know.” Liam grunts.

“Now you’re getting it!” Nick grins like Liam has just showed him an impressive trick.

“Why do you want these files anyway?” Louis asks, trying not to think about the fact that Nick knows his real name. He hasn’t been referred to by that name in years.

“Now we’re getting down to business!” Nick shouts gleefully, a giggle bubbling in his throat. And Harry thought the guy was friendly, _God._ “You see, Syco pissed me off some time ago. I wanted to become a field agent but they said I was too trigger happy.” Nick smiles ruefully, “Me! Trigger happy!” He laughs like it’s some sort of hilarious joke, “I’m a professional! But they didn’t trust me,” His tone gets suddenly serious and the room seems to drop a few degrees, “So now I’m going to show the world why they shouldn’t trust Syco,” Louis has concluded that this guy is insane. Absolutely fucking _nutty,_ “I’m going to send all of these files, one for each employee, to all of the highest powers in the world. Showing them that this company in built on _lies_ and mistrust.”

“You’re insane.” Harry says like he’s looking at some fascinating creature, “You’re actually completely nuts.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Louis mutters with a sideways glance at the boy. In that moment he really hopes for him to get out okay. The guard steps forward again but Nick holds up a hand, stopping her from hitting either him or Harry.

“I’m not insane,” Nick says with a suspiciously crazy look in his eyes, “I’m-”

“Resourceful.” Liam, Louis, Niall and Harry all say at the same time and Louis rolls his eyes, bored of the theatrics.

“Exactly!” Nick roars, practically rocking on his chair now. The phrase ‘off his rocker’ comes to mind and Louis nearly snickers before remembering they’re in a very serious situation right now.

“Why not stop us earlier?” Liam asks with a frown, “Why send us on a wild goose chase when you could’ve stopped us all along?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Nick answers like it’s obvious, “You guys are pretty impressive. If you were on the right road you would’ve stopped me by now. I find that commendable.” Nick nods, like he’s approving of his own explanation.

“So what now?” Louis asks.

“What do you mean, ‘what now’?” Nick asks with a snort.

“What are you going to do with us?” Louis clarifies, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes.

“Oh!” Nick laughs again. He laughs a lot, Louis notes, “I’m going to kill you of course. Be right back.” He swiftly gets up from his chair and leaves the room, three guards following closely behind. Louis looks around at the other boys to find Harry gnawing on his bottom lip, Liam looking around the room like he’s looking for possible exits, and Niall trying to burn a hole into Zayn’s head.

“Why?” Niall spits, clearly addressing Zayn.

“Why what?” Zayn replies, his face still carefully blank.

“You know what.” Niall has never sounded so venomous before and Louis has been partnered with him for at least two years.

“Intel.” Niall’s face twitches.

“Intel? Fucking intel?!” He throws his head back and laughs manically, “You told me you think you’re falling in love with me for fucking intel?!”

“You did what?!” Louis shouts, newly found rage bubbling in his gut, “Are you kidding me?” Niall has hung his head again and is shaking his head, “Being a double agent is bad enough but fucking with my best friend’s heart?! Too fucking far.” Zayn shuffles in place, looking like he wants to be anywhere but here.

“ _Je besoin d'une minute. Enseignez-leur une leçon privée.”_ He addresses the guards who all nod before filing out of the door and closing it behind them. Louis wonders what he said.

“Teach a private lesson?” Niall says condescendingly, “I think you’ve taught me enough thanks.”

“Shut up for a second,” Zayn says forcefully and Niall’s jaw snaps shut with a click, “I was waiting for the right moment but I’m guessing that you’re not going to trust me long enough for that.”

“Trust you?! Are you kidding right now?” Hearing Harry angry is a whole world of sexy that Louis shouldn’t really get into. At the moment he is more focused on wanting to put a bullet between Zayn’s eyes.

“No joke. I am a double agent, yes, but Cowell knows. I am on your side.” Zayn pleads, eyes trained on Niall.

“Why should we believe you?” Niall is staring at that point on the ground again, his jaw tight and his eyes void of emotion.

“Because,” Zayn crouches in front of him, “I meant it. Every word. I can’t help falling in love with someone so funny and kind, but blunt and brave in the face of threats. What can I do to get you do believe me?” Niall finally looks up and there’s a slight shine to his eyes, maybe hope, before he closes off again.

“I want you to take those files,” He nods towards the two files left on the chair and the three sat on the floor towards the back of the room, “And throw them in the fire place.” Zayn looks uncertain for a moment before nodding and moving towards the chair. He picks up the files and heads towards the back of the room, picking up the other three. He narrows his eyes at one of them.

“This is my file,” He grinds his teeth, “Nick was planning on betraying me whether I was loyal or not.” He marches over the fireplace and throws them all in without a moment’s hesitation. “Bastard.” He mutters under his breath as the flames lick at the paper, making it curl and blacken.

“Mind untying us, please?” Liam asks politely after a beat of silence.

Once they’re all out of their bonds, Zayn leads them towards a large painting on the other side of the room.

“It has been about 5 minutes so the guards will be coming back soon, along with Nick.” Zayn tells them before swinging the painting forward, revealing a hidden corridor lit up with safety lights. It’s incredibly dark and Louis feels an involuntary shiver down his spine.

“Um, sorry for, you know, punching you in the face,” Niall rubs the back of his neck, “Several times.”

“I deserved it.” Zayn reassures him with a small smile before leading him into the corridor by the small of his back. Liam follows close behind and Harry is about to go in too before he notices Louis hesitating.

“You okay?” He asks with a concerned frown.

“Yeah,” Louis swallows, “It’s just- um, it’s a bit dark in there.” He shrugs helplessly. Harry simply smiles and holds out his hand.

“You can hold my hand if you want. I’ll protect you from the monsters.” He winks and wiggles his fingers. Louis takes his hand and steps into the corridor before remembering something he slipped into his pocket before they set off from the hotel.

“Hang on,” He quickly runs back into the hall. He comes back and takes Harry’s hand again, “Shall we?”

“We shall.” Harry swings the painting back and they make their way down the corridor, hand in hand, feeling the adrenaline rushing through their veins.

They find the other boys waiting at the end of the corridor, a big wooden door in front of them, Zayn’s hand on the handle.

“Ready?” He asks tentatively.

“Ready.” Louis and Harry reply together, fingers still entwined. Zayn opens the door and they all run out, quickly finding their way back to the car from where the door comes out in front of the mansion. They all start to jump in, Zayn first, starting the ignition and beginning to drive away. Louis’ short legs don’t quite carry him fast enough to get in the VW while it’s parked, so he starts to panic as he runs quicker.

Harry leans out of the side of the van and holds out his hand. Louis reaches for it and grabs onto Harry’s wrist so he can easily be pulled into the back of the van.

“Well that was dramatic.” Niall comments once Harry has slid the door shut behind Louis.

“What are we going to do about Nick? He still has all of those other files.” Liam looks forlornly back at the mansion.

“I’ve got it covered,” Louis says, pulling a remote out of his pocket.

“Is that what I think it is?” Niall asks with a smile.

“It is what it is,” Louis replies, pressing the button. They all look back at the building, (“Eyes on the road, Zayn!”) as there’s a mighty bang and the whole building comes crashing down, plumes of smoke and fire rising into the sky as the mansion crumbles.

“That was even more dramatic.” Harry comments, eyes on Louis.

“We could’ve just died.” Louis states.

“Yeah.”

“I’m so full of adrenaline right now.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t think I hate you anymore.”

“I never hated you.”

“I really want to kiss you.”

“Do it.”

Louis does, and he can’t remember why he ever hated the beautiful, smart, sensitive, bad ass, curly haired boy in the first place.

*

“Boys,” Cowell frowns from where he is sat at his desk, “As you probably know, your identities have been compromised.”

“Yes sir.” They all reply.

“So we have decided to put you on a new mission. It’s like witness protection, but hiding in plain sight,” He clears his throat, “More a social experiment than anything.”

“What is it?” Louis asks, sitting on the edge of his seat.

“How are your singing voices?” Cowell asks instead of answering the question. The five boys look at each other with equal levels of confusion.

“They could do with some practise, probably.” Harry replies slowly.

“Then get practising,” Cowell tells them, standing up, “Because you’re going to be in project boy band, under the name One Direction.”

Louis looks at Harry and Harry looks at Louis, smiling. Niall and Zayn giggle at each other. Liam just looks like he’s going to explode with glee.

“One Direction,” Harry repeats like he’s testing how it feels on his tongue, “I think it suits us.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The French- (Paraphrased)
> 
> "I need a minute. Teach them a private lesson."
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> Visit me on tumblr stilesmakesmestrong or my fic specific blog how-about-no-ao3


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